Rent-Free Living

Audio By Carbonatix

It’s Monday morning and you’ve just arrived at work. You’ve shed your coat, dumped your purse or briefcase on your desk, and you’re headed for a cup of java to jumpstart your day. Even though you plaster a smile on your face, your mind is occupied with thoughts of anger and frustration. 

You can’t believe your sister has done it again. She’s acted recklessly and without thought in regard to your parents, and her actions have caused animosity among all your siblings. It’s not the first time her selfish behavior has resulted in hurt feelings and discord within the family. You think she should apologize and seek forgiveness, but you know she won’t. After all, she hasn’t before, so why would she do it now? For the last two days, it’s all you’ve thought about.

Is there anyone in your life today, specifically in your family, who you’ve got some built up frustration and anger against? Are you harboring resentment? If you answered yes to any of those questions, you might be doing something—without even knowing it—that isn’t healthy. Resentment isn’t healthy emotionally or physically, and it certainly isn’t healthy for your family. It’s what I refer to as rent-free living. It’s allowing someone to take over the thoughts in your mind and rob you of joy and peace.

Let me explain. By simply harboring that ill will and those feelings of animosity, you’ve allowed a portion of your mind to be absorbed by that cause. In this scenario, you’re actually inviting negative thoughts to be part of your brain when, in fact, a lot of those thoughts need to be removed from your brain to allow more room for pleasant thoughts and creativity.

I’m one of those people who have experienced forgiveness, and I’ve also allowed others to experience forgiveness from me. I found it to be both freeing and refreshing. It’s freeing for the mind and freeing for the soul. Let me offer you some simple steps that might be helpful in your process of evicting the renter out of your brain. Now, certainly there are some circumstances that might require professional counseling to sort out, but these steps below are for less traumatic situations.

First of all, understand that failing to forgive hurts you more than it hurts anyone else. Most likely that person is not thinking about it as much as you are. It won’t be easy to forgive someone, but it will be helpful. It doesn’t mean you immediately forget about what happened, but forgiving the offender will soften your heart and allow room in your mind for happier thoughts to occupy.

Secondly, replace the negative thoughts with positive ones. Try to recall some great memories you’ve had with this person. Try to find good in that person. I remember my mom telling me about someone who had passed away and though not many people could say much good about him, one person said, “Well he certainly knew how to whistle a tune.” What a great way to figure out something really positive about someone who caused a lot of negativity. 

Thirdly, nothing heals like time. So, as you forgive and seek to go on, you are going to discover over the days, weeks, and even years ahead that you are overcoming the resentment you’ve been carrying for years. And when you do that, I know you will be winning at home.